Polimom couldn’t help noticing a bit of disquiet around the country this weekend over the up-and-coming illegal immigration debates. After a great deal of thought on the matter (and way too much time spent online on a beautiful weekend), I have decided that what we really need to do is simply annex our neighbor to the south of us.
Imagine this with me: The United States of North America. Kind of has a nice ring to it, eh? Of course, the flag would require some modifications, but if we just make the stars smaller, there should be lots of room.
(Yes… I know… I’m kind of attached to how our flag looks right now too, but if we can make room for our neighbors, surely it’s no harder to squeeze in some more stars?)
But think of the benefits! We could get domestic flight pricing to Cancun, or Mazatlan. All that beautiful Mexican silver (normally only available from young local children on beaches) would be a USNA domestic product. Not only that, but people’s feelings would stop being hurt by those illegal aliens taking away the jobs that they don’t want to do anyway, and those young children on the beaches could go to Harvard! (Note: I considered modifying this person’s proposal as an alternative for those children, but that just seems too drastic and draconian. He must hate children or something.)
There’d be no more worrying about international drug smuggling through tunnels. We could just prosecute under the Interstate Commerce Act. (I think we have one of those. If we don’t, we should.) Probably we could use the tunnels for something else, but I haven’t figured out what yet.
And then, there’s the small, hardly-worth-mentioning side benefit that they have OIL…
Of course, this is only a first step in solving our illegal immigration woes. I’ve limited this proposal to Mexico because so many people seem really worried about it, but I see possibilities here for larger things.
For instance: in my research yesterday, I found an enlightening blog article called Canadians and Other Illegal Immigrants. I don’t know who this Jon Swift guy is, but thank goodness I came across his post! I hadn’t realized how deeply they have infiltrated our country.
Although I didn’t see hundreds of thousands of people protesting about illegal Canadian workers this weekend, it’s probably not long until they start, so I think we need to leave room in that flag for more stars when we start the re-design plans. (And yes, they have oil in Canada, too. But that’s just lagniappe, since we don’t really care about oil.)
Really. This could work. We just need to think out of the border box a bit, that’s all.
[…] It’s tempting to put my tongue back into my cheek again on the immigration issue (where it was this weekend). I intended to do just that, actually, when I sat down at my keyboard this morning… but I can’t. As I wrote recently to a friend, subtlety is not always understood in the blogosphere. […]
[…] Two weeks ago, Polimom suggested that perhaps we should annex Mexico to avoid all these immigration reform shenanigans. At the time, my tongue was admittedly in my cheek - but only slightly, because the enormous influx from the south is happening for a reason. This demonstrator summed it up very well in Houston yesterday: “All we want is to work and to have a better future for our children,” Flores said. […]